The Parent-Student Dialogue

by Amy Carmen-Peck, LCSW, Clinical Director
Alcohol and Other Drug Office, Counseling Center

One of the greatest challenges that parents face when their adult children embark on the journey of living on a college campus is knowing how much or how little to be involved around issues of alcohol use. Sure, these concerns often come up during the high school years but when that young adult lives out of the home for the first time, has increased access to alcohol and is making decisions independently, parents' concerns naturally rise. It doesn't matter if the precipitating event is a birthday, Unofficial St. Patrick's Day, or just the typical Saturday night on campus, the issues around safe decision-making about alcohol use and concern for these students is always the same.

Below are 5 frequently asked questions by parents about how and what to discuss about alcohol use with their adult children. These are guidelines that are meant to support ongoing dialogue about student safety, decision-making, and successful functioning at the University of Illinois.

1. Is it ok to initiate discussing concerns or questions about my students' alcohol use?

Absolutely. Your adult child is still involved in emotional and cognitive development. Although you are probably not living onsite, your insights and wisdom will likely be highly valued and appreciated. Often students believe they need to come up with answers independently and therefore won't ask for help. Initiating the conversation communicates availability, caring and support.

2. Does parents' alcohol use influence students' alcohol use?

The behaviors you display in regards to safety with alcohol use most certainly influence your adult child's choices. Specifically, compliance with laws regarding the legal drinking age, purchasing alcohol, bar entry and driving after alcohol use are all ways you can teach by example.

3. What are some of the greatest risks associated with alcohol abuse on a college campus?

There is always a risk of promoting the progress on alcoholism with extensive and frequent alcohol use. The greatest risks, however, that our students face are "secondary risks" or risks that happen as a result of impairment or decreased judgment due to alcohol use. Examples include legal or disciplinary consequences, increased vulnerability for victimization, decreased academic performance, emotional concerns including depression and anxiety and social consequences.

4. What are the red flags that alcohol abuse may be causing problems?

Alcohol abuse maybe hard to detect from afar and often hard to detect in when there is daily contact. There are typically small and short term consequences that you may notice including social isolation, change in peer group, increased anger, relationship break-ups and academic problems. Of course, it is not helpful to assume that any of these behaviors or situations are absolutely a result of alcohol use, but it is prudent to observe and to ask your student if you have questions.

5. What services are available for students who have these concerns?

The Alcohol and Other Drug Office is a confidential service for students that offers education, assessment, referral and counseling. Students can call to set up an appointment and talk to a counselor about concerns they may have. Parents are also encouraged to utilize the Alcohol and Other Drug Office for consultation if they have questions. The Alcohol and Other Drug Office (AODO) is located on the 3rd floor of the McKinley Health Center and sponsored by the Counseling Center. Its hours are Monday - Friday, 8:30 - 5:00. The AODO can be contacted by calling 333-7557.